Retrograde State of Mind

blogging, Life Beyond The Kitchen Sink

Mercury Retrogrades have had a bit of a bad rap since their recent reincarnation into modern pop culture.

when-you-wake-up-and-realize-its-mercury-retrograde-moongazingangel-35396563

By memes and astrology pages alone, Mercury in Retrograde would be up there with four horseman and the front page of The Daily Mail as something bound to ruin your day.

But perhaps our Sun’s closest neighbour is just a misunderstood planet whizzing around a massive orb of fire on a slightly wonky orbit.

Mercury-Retrograde-meme-by-_inked.mystic

To be clear, I’m not trying to test fate when I talk down the tumultuous energy which MiR is notorious for. But the fact that Mercury isn’t travelling backwards during its “retrograde”, (it just appears that way from our perspective on Earth) and that it is the fastest (orbit speed) planet in our solar system makes  me wonder whether it’s we humans who have our wires crossed. 

Screenshot_20191029_215319

In fact, Mercury’s orbit actually pushed ancient scientists to finally let go of their beloved notion that the Earth was the centre of the universe. As dented as those eggheaded egos were, their acceptance of an unwelcome truth literally expanded their universe infinitely.

So maybe Mercury in Retrograde is just simply a good time to reflect and accept unwelcome truths in order to expand and evolve?

Screenshot_20191030_200725And as the last retrograde of 2019 approaches, I am going to welcome it as an opportunity to take time to digest and reflect.

Naturally, I mean this literally as well as figuratively as the women’s network that I Co founded, Sisterhood Supper Club, will be hosting it’s first open invite dinner. (12 courses, no less)

Digestion AND trying something new, truly a retrograde State of mind…

During this retrograde, see if you can raise a toast every time you..

Screenshot_20191029_214232

Ideas by @foreverconcious

Cheers to that! Happy retrograde and Halloween everyone!

TBH xx

 

 

 

#itsOkNotToBeOk

livingroom

It’s hard to find a single person who hasn’t been touched by mental health. Whether a family member, partner or personally, the pressures of modern society are taking a toll on our collective mental health.

As part of World Mental Health Awareness day, people have been encouraged to share their experiences of mental health and combat the stigma attached. I hope all the shared experiences reach the people who need it.

Here’s mine.. XxX

In twelve months my whole life changed and crumbled – health, wealth, job, home, relationship – collapsed.

The little that remained of my confidence and identity (after being in a particularly pychologically abusive relationship) finally retreated.

The relentless onslaught of failures, health issues, work issues, battles and abuse kept my body permanently in fight or flight mode. I was overwhelmed and perpetually exhausted.

At times I asked my friends to assess my sanity. After years of abuse and gaslighting, I couldn’t be sure if my perception of reality was working properly.

The thought of depression often conjures pictures of unhappiness or numbness but for me I just felt exhausted. Birds singing made me smile and music could move me, but after so many knock downs the fear of the unknown future fuckery lurking around the next corner kept me living in the future and in a constant state of high anxiety.

To escape my thoughts often turned to suicide, not because I was unhappy, I just wanted to rest. I was too tired and didn’t want to keep battling, being “strong” or “dusting myself off”.

I remember one day feeling particularly trapped and full of self pity. I stared longingly out of a ninth floor hotel window wanting to jump. My responsibilities and beliefs meant that I could never commit suicide and tears streamed down my face at that reality. I saw death as a beautiful peace that I wasn’t allowed to have alive.

But it was also during that dark time that I realised that my friends unconditionally accepted me. Even in such a broken and needy state. They were there for me and I realised that I was worthy enough to receive their love.

Screenshot_20191013_232028.jpg

It was a couple of years before I could start to process and heal from all the trauma but I still feel blessed today knowing that each step of the way my friends were there.

Years later those times seem like another life, but I will never forget the kindness of my friends and the liberating lesson that we all are worthy of such kindness and love.

To all my friends and family that were there for me thank you xxxx

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/

How to Live in Beyoncé’s Shadow..

bedroom

Hello Guys,

My stats tell me that I haven’t posted for the whole of September… As a teacher, this is no surprise.  But it’s not just the new academic year To Do lists that have kept me at bay from my blog.  I have also been busy building a brand new website with one of my closest friends and inspirations.

We wanted to build a platform for women to come together and inspire each other to improve our lives and community.. Otherwise known as

www.thesisterhoodsupperclub.com

I have just posted my first official post (hence the title of this post and it’s linked HERE) Please read and give me some honest feedback! Thank you 🙂

BHxxx