2020 Vision


Preface into the post below

When I first filed for divorce I sent a group message to all my friends so it was out there. No elephants in the Whats Up groups so to speak.

Many of my friends outside my close circle were shocked.

“We thought you had the perfect life!?!”

I was equally shocked by their view of my life. Since that revelation I have tried to be as open about life’s ups and downs as possible with hopes that anyone in a similar situation sees their journey reflected in mine and knows that they are not alone. Xxx

2020 Vision

This decade I have got married and got divorced.

Been pregnant three times given birth once.

Bought two houses but for almost two years was effectively homeless.

Excitedly danced in front of a televised audience of 26.3 Million and been petrified of performing poetry to a group of 50.

Almost died trapped in a house fire in Lagos and swum naked in the Ionian Sea.

Abandoned my passions, embraced them again and found new channels of expression.

Traveled unapologetically.

Moved to Nigeria, came back early-unapologetically.

Almost died three times. Lived my “best life” many more.

Freed myself from friendships and relationships no longer for me and founded the Sisterhood Supperclub.

It has been a decade of many firsts and hopefully many lasts.

I started the decade thinking I had found love and end it rekindling my selflove and finding heart bursting joy and unconditional love in the smile of my beloved (not a)baby(anymore) boy.


ūüéČHappy New Year everyone!! ūüéČ

I’m just not buying it


I’ve decided I would like to rellocate to wherever the people defending H&M are from.
I’ve read comment after comment across social media by people stating they do not understand why people are getting so offended.

What a blissful existence they must have, to have never been exposed to the racist use of the word monkey.

I’d love my son to grow up in a place where black sports stars don’t have bananas thrown at them by the crowd or placed in their lockers by team mates.¬† Or basketball stars are compared to King Kong on the cover of fashion magazines.

A place where no one asks “Where’s your tail?” Or lets “f*&ing Monkey! ” slip during a heated exchange.¬† Or a child of colour is surrounded by peers in the play ground making monkey noises.

A utopia where history was not rewritten to depict native Africans as infantile savages needing supervision by European invaders.

So please H&M defenders, reach out and let me know where you all live.. I’m sure you’d welcome me as your new neighbour- wouldn’t you?

X https://youtu.be/epEQhxslprE

Vote For Me and other stories


The story is based around¬†two children Alex and Evie. Alex’s parents support the Stripy Party and Evie’s the Spotty Party. ¬†No spoilers however, you’ll simply have to read the book to find out who wins.. ¬†The story uses¬†simple ¬†language and child friendly illustrations to introduce key aspects of the election process including canvassing, voting and results night. ¬†The Election is a great conversation starter for parents and teachers to introduce political concepts to the¬†future rulers of the world.

10 very unDisney newborn baby moments


I should probably state very clearly at the beginning of this blog I love being a mummy and how it has changed my life and of course my little one means EVERYTHING to me.  Now that I have made that perfectly clear, lets cut to the chase..

Common to most Mums To Be, I savagely devoured every book, magasine, and website about pregnancy and parenting that I could lay my chubby little hand on. ¬†Even so, for the first few weeks¬†I often found myself fretting whether something was “normal” and would end up spending hours trawling the internet for reassurance¬†and relief. ¬†Was it just me or¬†had those books censored¬†out the “Not So Disney moments”?

So I’m defying the censors! Here are my top ten “Not So Disney” moment¬†experiences, those random things that have kept me amused, confused and bemused over the past couple of weeks as a new mum.

Please feel free to add yours in the comments and reassure me I’m not alone ūüėČ

1)  The Circle of Life

simbaNewly born babies do not look like they do on the TV. ¬†Oxytocin had blinded me to the white slime and blood splattered across Our Little One’s body BUT his head shape startled me. ¬†The distaughted conical shape of his head was concerning simply because no one else seemed to acknowledge it. ¬†Were they just being polite? ¬†No, they were just aware that this Not So Disney moment would pass and was part and parcel of birth. ¬†Unaware of how his fleeting looks would change, my main thought ¬†was that he was¬†healthy, a mothers love is boundless. ¬†My son was this beautiful grey baby; covered in blood, white slime and slicked back hair covering his conical head and I loved him to pieces.

2) Shadow Land

luminaireOur Little One was born with a full head of black curly hair, fuzzy arms and legs and we watched (practically) his eye lashes grow within the first 24 hours…. But not one lash on his brow. ¬†This seems pretty insignificant but a 5 0’clock shadow over your first son’s eyes for the first couple of months is a slightly distracting sight.


3) Can you paint with all the colours of the wind?

pocohuntus¬†Ante natal classes were brilliant for showing me how to wind my little one correctly, but never did they mention that- ahem- the ¬†wind would blow from Northern and Southern directions. ¬† Previously, it was inconceivable that such a loud noise could originate from something so cute and little. ¬†Although rather amusing (accept in public when suspicion naturally falls on me – and is almost 50% of the time misplaced), OLO’s gas became so excessive that I had to change my diet completly. ¬†Bizarrely it was all the healthy options that were the worse culperits.. greens, brocoli, onions, chick peas.. ¬†Yep Pizza O’clock.

4) The Bare Necessities 

timonIn the first couple of days of life bowel movements are one of the few obvious ways of telling whether a newborn is¬†‘thriving” ¬†or not and so naturally we were on instant nappy watch. ¬†Now the consistency, colour and range of baby poop is well documented but the regularity not so!¬†¬†Our Little One went¬†for ¬†three days without passing, ¬†and I¬†kept worrying until I hit the parenting forums and discovered that even up to four days is perfectly normal! ¬† ¬†Never had I imagined I’d become a nappy stalker, willing him to soil his nappy just so I was reassured that everything was working fine.

5) Friend Like Me

snake jungle book¬†We spent a fair amount on time and molah decorating the nursery, buying all those eye catching educational toys and wall stickers. ¬†But OLO loves nothing more than staring at a blank wall, ceiling, window, shadow, the metal bracket that holds up the expensive educational toy¬†etc. ¬† It must be pretty cool when EVERYTHING is a brand new hypnotising experience for you to explore, ok that’s a Disney moment, I can feel a song sequence brewing as I type.

6) By the Light of the Silvery Moon

images-4Sleeping through the night is a myth. ¬†The Not So Disney truth is that “sleeping through the night” actually means sleeping for a period of 5-6 hours. ¬† Pre baby that would have been a sign of a good night out, now that’s considered a good night’s sleep. That said OLO has recently managed to “sleep through the night” and it did feel marvelous. ¬†How things have changed.

7) Let It Go


Planes fly low over head, pneumatic drills pound the pavement outside, Guy Falkes Night firework displays light up the night sky and still¬†OLO will stay fast asleep. ¬†That is until I sneeze. ¬†OLO’s selective hearing is incredible, his timing comedic, ¬†although most of the time he is the only one who seems to be laughing ūüėČ

8) Under the sea

¬†The first night we laid OLO in his crib all I wanted to do was watch him sleep and listen to him breathe. ¬†If I had known that babies breathing patterns can include ten second pauses this experience may not have been so traumatic. ¬†Turns out after swimming about in a sac of water for nine months, baby lungs don’t have much on the job experience. ¬†For the first couple of weeks breathing regularity was more novelty than function.

9) A Whole New World

images-10The first couple of weeks in¬†OLO’s social calendar was fully booked. ¬†What with midwife, doctor, health visitor, and immunisation appointments; and friend and relative visits, OLO was very much the baby about town. ¬†However, the unDisney truth is newborn babies have their own plans and from the moment they are born they then become your plans. ¬†You cannot rush a newborn you will miss that 9 am doctors appointment and you will breastfeed your baby in a public place.

10) Hakuna Matata 

images-6¬†For all his strange smells, sounds and eccentricities OLO makes my heart explode with joy, pride and love. ¬†The amount of love and happiness he has brought into my life is overwhelming! ¬†Never could I have known how amazing being a mother would feel. ¬†Ok – that is also a very Disney moment, but you knew this blog post had to have a happy ending ūüėČ

Aunty why is your baby a monkey?

Aunty, why is your baby a pet monkey?

Aunty, why is your baby a pet monkey?

Maybe the parental joy and pride of the first ultrasound is lost on a beautiful five year old little niece who loves Hello Kitty, Doc Mc Stuffin and believes Mc Donald’s is a farmer.

There again I have to admit that the idea of a mini human growing inside me right now is just as bizarre. Inside my body there are two heartbeats and two brains simultaneously working independently together.

Seriously nature is incredible…

I’m sure all first time M2bs enjoy this stage of wonderment, awe and general disbelief but for me it’s just hard to believe that it’s really happening.

Soon, the proof of this journey will be in my arms and maybe I’ll look back at this post and smile.